Not too long ago, I sat on my bed and listened to a close friend tell me about what scared her most in this world. It wasn't the risk of terrorism, natural disasters or nuclear war in the Middle East. She wasn't worried about childhood predators, robbers or any other "boogey men" that appeared in the daily news. She told me that what frightened her most was herself.
Not too long ago, I sat on my bed and listened to a
close friend tell me about what scared her most in this
world. It wasn't the risk of terrorism, natural disasters or
nuclear war in the Middle East. She wasn't worried about
childhood predators, robbers or any other "boogey men"
that appeared in the daily news. She told me that what
frightened her most was herself.
She'd just had her third baby, a beautiful petite little
girl. Everyone in the house was excited to fi nally see
pink ribbons in a house full of boys. But within weeks
of returning home from the hospital, she found herself
waking up each morning in a serious depression. e
heavy weight of the illness had wrapped itself around her
usually self-confi dent and strong shoulders like a blanket
that she just couldn't shrug off . She whispered, " ere was
even one day that I was so out of it… that… I… I heard
voices and saw things." "Like delusions or hallucinations?"
I asked. "Yeah…it was so scary." She answered as her voice
trembled.
Her husband, family and friends closed in to support
her and the children, but the heavy cloak of depression did
not lift right away. Some days, she said, she was so clouded
over that time would slip through her fi ngers and she'd
remember almost nothing of the day. I remember holding
her hand as she wept and wondered if she would ever feel
normal again.
"Now my doctor says it could be as serious as bi-polar
depression. I'm so scared. What if it is true? Who am I
then? What kind of wife or mother am I going to be?" She
choked on each word. en she looked me straight in the
eyes and asked. "Do you think it could be true?"
is friend was later diagnosed with postpartum
psychosis. A condition that is, fortunately, extremely rare.
Only one out of a thousand women will ever experience
the condition. Over the months that followed, and with
medical and family support, I watched my friend heal. But,
I was reminded of just how fragile we all are.
As strong as we may see ourselves, our bodies, spirits
and minds are really quite tender and can break. Of course,
I didn't realize that as a young teen or a young mother in
my 20s. In fact, it wasn't until the last decade that I began
to recognize that a healthy body and a healthy mind were
something to appreciate, to value and to handle with care.
e lesson came to me as women I knew and loved began
to struggle against incredible challenges. ese were all
women who I grew up with. ey were women I described
as high achieving, hard working, passionate, strong and
brave. But one by one, the women I loved became much
more than that. ey became vulnerable.
First it was Stacee — my marathon-running, mopedriding
college roommate turned best friend. She became
an incredible community leader and mother of fi ve. e
disease that struck her at one point left her in a catatonic
state. I watched her learn to walk and talk again while in
her 30s.
And then there is Cindy, my longest childhood friend.
Somewhere down the road she transformed herself from
Barbie lover to teen punk rocker. She is now a dedicated
mom to three daughters and is losing her eyesight at 41.
And there's my beloved sister-in-law. Maren was
diagnosed with multiple sclerosis just after giving birth to
a long-awaited baby girl named Olivia. And that is just to
name a few.
I imagine that this year, 2008, will continue to infl ate
the pressure that has been building over the last decade
for each of us to do more and to be more. And each of us
will have to decide just how far we will stretch ourselves
physically, emotionally, spiritually and mentally. But, as we
toss around the traditional New Year's resolutions, may I
suggest just two more? One, may we never take for granted
our body's strength and our mind's health. And, two, may
we remember just how fragile life is and, because of that,
handle ourselves with care. WW
